Reconnection and Reflection

So this weekend I had a little R & R, some reconnection and reflection, and both really brought me back down to reality and helped me see a little bit clearer.

Lets start with the first R, reconnection.

Elana, despite the fact that over the last 4 years since I have been in Iowa we have drifted apart, I still consider to be one of my closest friends. I met her when I was a sophomore in high school. She was my gymnastics captain, and we became close friends very quickly. We would hang out on the weekends, she would sneak me off campus for lunch with her, and she was just an all around great friend to have. She really taught me a lot about myself, about people, about friendship, and I love her so much because of it. Anyways, long story somewhat short, we did a great job of keeping in touch while I was still in high school, she came home on breaks from school at U of A, and we would get to see each other and both did a good job at calling and checking in every once in awhile. When I moved to college, I have to say it was really hard to keep in touch with everyone back home. The time change, the transition for me, it was hard to keep in touch. So we didn't talk as often, and then hardly at all. Well it turns out that part of the reason we haven't talked recently {okay about a year} is that she had been calling me trying to catch up, but didn't have my new number. Needless to say she was really happy when she found out I hadn't been ignoring her for the past few months :) We talked yesterday and it was SOOOO nice! I have to say I have seriously missed having her in my life and it was so great to catch up and reconnect with her again. Our lives are both so different than when we are in high school and we are both doing things with them that we really enjoy. I love you so much E and I am so happy that we are going to be in WAY better communication :)

And now the second R, reflection.

Part of our talk actually had to do with reflection. We both got business degrees from our respected schools, and she put in a lot more time in the workforce than I did, but we both realized that the jobs we had choosen for ourselves were just missing something. We both wanted a more rewarding job, something we could do and actually feel good about doing. That's why she is going back to school for her Masters in Social Work, and I am going to Nursing School. Through her internship, my clinicals and work experience as a tech, we have both already realized how rewarding our new careers are going to be. So that was part of my reflection, realizing that I really did make the right choice in going to Nursing School, and really thinking about all of the reasons I wanted to do so. The other part of my reflection had to do with my own behaviors. At work it gets really easy to think about how bad it is, how hard the patients are to work with, how much work they require, and how annoying some may be. I found myself completely complaining about my patients I had this weekend, explaining how bad some of them were to take care of because they needed so much care. Upon realizing what was coming out of my mouth I was appalled at myself and the thoughts and things I was saying about these people. These are my patients, and they deserve respect and compassion, two things I really pride myself on. While of course I was not telling these patients how miserable they made me feel, I was thinking it, or talking about it with my co-workers, and I just felt terrible about it. These people are there because they need care, and I am there because I have CHOSEN to be there, CHOSEN to work where I do, and CHOSEN to do the work that I do. So I did a lot of reflection and even some prayer about how to change this negative feeling I have had towards these patients. My personal self feels way better about this positive change, and I am sure it is a permanent one. It is a hard job sometimes, but I do love it, and the fact that these patients are so appreciative of even the smallest amounts of kindness sometimes really makes what I do so worthwhile. I love knowing that someone has had a better night sleep, or had received maybe more attention from me than they do where they live. My job is rewarding, and while it may be difficult to see the joy in it sometimes, it is there, and need to make sure that stays front and center.